In modern society, there is a widespread yet disturbing truth that penetrates the lives of people, especially teenagers, on a daily basis. That is, in order to be considered “cool”, you have to have a lot of friends and spend a lot of time hanging out with them. In other words, if you spend too much time alone, you are uncool. But what so many people fail to realize is the fact that there is a difference between “loneliness” and “being alone”; just because you are alone does not mean you are lonely, and vice versa. Did that statement shock you in any way? Have you ever felt that way before? That you could be surrounded by friends, lots and lots of them, and still feel like nobody truly understands or listens to you? Even if you haven’t, learning to be alone is extremely important in life. Yes, forming relationships with other people is crucial; however, at the end of the day, people come and go. Knowing how to enjoy your own company is inevitable if you want to be happy even when others are not around to make you happy.
Perhaps to your surprise, there are a lot of different benefits of solitude. Here are a few of the reasons why you should consider spending more time by yourself:
It helps you learn more about yourself. Think back to the countless days that you spent hanging out with your friends, going to places like cafes, amusement parks, and restaurants. How much of your actions were influenced by the opinions of your friends? When you are by yourself, there is a much greater opportunity for you to make decisions without outside influences. Because you don’t have anyone else’s opinions to rely on, it challenges you to be initiative in reflecting on things that make you happy and goals that you want to achieve. And in the process of asking yourself these questions, you are pushed to think more deeply about who you are as a person. By focusing solely on your hobbies and interests, you are able to create a better picture of what makes you, YOU.
It helps improve your concentration and productivity. It’s true! Everyone is busy all the time, regardless of where they are. Especially if you are a teenager, life is too full of events for you to stay calm and relaxed. Responsibilities after responsibilities can easily haunt you down, often preventing you from producing quality work. However, when you take the time to sit back, breathe, and think on your own, organizing your ideas and thoughts becomes much easier, increasing your productivity. Not only that, for some people, the burden of having to care for people around them can make them feel exhausted very quickly. So it shouldn’t be a surprise that taking the time to be alone and present with your mind is absolutely crucial for your mental health. Also, removing distractions and unnecessary interruptions in your daily life allows your brain to wander off on its own, which can help you become more creative.
It helps improve your relationships with other people. You heard it correctly! Spending time with yourself actually allows you to develop stronger and more positive connections with others. Because solitude challenges you to be left alone with your thoughts without any external interference, you are able to create a better understanding of what you truly desire in life. When you are able to answer questions such as, “What do I want to do in life?”, “What irritates me and what can I tolerate?”, and “When do I feel most happy?”, you are more likely to make better decisions about what your life looks like, including who you are around. Once you understand yourself and your values, relationships with others will become easier, more productive, and fulfilling. What a beautiful thought, am I right?
It helps you to love yourself. As clichéd as this sounds, self-love is perhaps the most important kind of love that exists. What’s important to realize is that loving yourself does not simply mean you praise yourself for the things that you are good at or things that others like about you. Instead, it means that you are able to appreciate every part that is you, regardless of whether or not it fits the standards set by society (this includes both physical and non-physical characteristics). By being alone, you are left alone with just that -- you. Learning to be comfortable in your own skin is difficult, but absolutely necessary and worth the effort. Because if you don’t love yourself, how do you expect others to love you?
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: being alone and knowing how to be content with your own company is beyond just important. As members of a globalized society, we love to connect with other people through social media. But what about ourselves? Why should we ever be discouraged to share all of our amazing thoughts and emotions with the person that we are the closest to? That we are stuck with for the rest of our lives? I hope that with the benefits I presented to you today, you will no longer be afraid to spend time on your own. If nothing else, I can promise you one thing. It will empower you in ways that you never imagined before.
Works Cited
Carter, Sherrie Bourg. “6 Reasons You Should Spend More Time Alone.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 31 Jan. 2012,
www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/high-octane-women/201201/6-reasons-you-should-spend-more-time-alone.
Morin, Amy. “7 Science-Backed Reasons You Should Spend More Time Alone.” Forbes, Forbes Magazine, 7 Aug. 2017,
www.forbes.com/sites/amymorin/2017/08/05/7-science-backed-reasons-you-should-spend-more-time-alone/
Patricia Roth, Michigan State University Extension. “Solitude Enhances Your Social-Emotional Health and Well-Being.” Healthy
Relationships, 15 Apr. 2019, www.canr.msu.edu/news/solitude_enhances_your_social_emotional_health_and_well_being.
Gouty, Melissa. “The Unexpected Benefits of Being Alone With Yourself.” Medium, Tough Cookie, 22 May 2020,
medium.com/tough-cookie/the-unexpected-benefits-of-being-alone-with-yourself-b35d720e607a.
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